Mommy Personality – 10 Tips For Self Esteem and Positive Thinking

How do you feel when you have spent an entire 5 days at home with only your children and husband for company ,the weekend comes and all of a sudden you have to be around other adults? It takes some effort doesn’t it?

Personality Development is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.  Feeling good about myself personally makes all the difference when it comes to feeling comfortable around others in my life and feeling like my life has meaning and purpose.  It also helps with my day to day at home living and how I interact with my kids.

    Definition of Personality Development:

Enhancing and Grooming one’s self to bring about a positive change to your life.

Personality Development goes hand in hand with Self Esteem and Positivity. These play a big role in giving you what you need to thrive outside of your comfort zone and to live a happy fulfilling life. Your personality is a big part of who you are and you are wise if you meditate on it. Everyone has something great in them.

Here are 10 Essential tips to help you stay positive and build your confidence.

Click on each Tip To Jump To Tip Description…

  1. Focus on the positive

  2. Accept Yourself as You Are

  3. Let Your Past Teach You to Be Better

  4. Be Thankful

  5. Have a clean Mind, Body, and Attitude

  6. Notice Life’s Small Pleasures

  7. Celebrate Your Wins

  8. Cut Out Negative Self Talk

  9. Understand the Difference between Confidence and Arrogance

  10. Feed Your Self Esteem and cheer yourself on



                 1. Focus on The Positive

Sometimes I find myself focusing on all the things going wrong in my life. I end up feeling anxious and stressed out. Depression starts setting in and I start feeling like there isn’t much to live for.

But, when I focus on the good things in life everything looks exciting and I can’t wait for my days to begin. Work loses it’s drag and I find myself inspired about life. Sometimes I feel like even my children can sense through my moods which way I’m thinking. Focusing on the positive can soon even change your negative habits. You just can’t help being optimistic even when everyone around you is negative.

“Train your mind to see something good in everything.”

“Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change”


2. Accept Yourself As You Are

There is no person in this world who is perfect. Accept Yourself as you are, not as you may be. You can find peace, a greater understanding, and the ability to empathize with others when you learn to accept yourself. Don’t become oblivious to your failures, thinking about them will not condemn you to self hatred. Learn to live with being flawed. Like MOST of yourself as much as you can.

“The moment you accept yourself you become beautiful.”

“Let go of who you think you are supposed to be and be who you are.”


    3. Let Your Past Teach You To Be Better

Instead of letting your past mistakes tear you down and make you feel worthless let it build you up. Let it make you stronger and more determined to do better in the future.

“Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesn’t happen again.”

“Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before.”

                             4. Be Thankful

When you learn to be grateful for the good things in your life it will drown out the negative thoughts and anxiety you were feeling. If  we appreciate the little day to day things, we find more satisfaction and meaning in our life.

“When we focus on our Gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of Love rushes in.”


5.Have a Clean Mind, Body and Attitude

Be gentle and polite while at the same time be firm. Meditate on who you are and strive to be the best version of yourself to your family, others, and yourself. Strive to be a more loving example to the people around you. Try to be a better person, without unrealistic expectations.

“Be soft my love, because flowers don’t grow on hard grounds.”


         6. Notice Life’s Small Pleasures

That tiny thing in your life that you just accept as normal, it’s great, appreciate it. So many times we get so caught up attaining that next big thing we forget what all we already have. Remember to notice those small, simple, but important things in your life.

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.”

“I’ll look back on this and smile, because it was life and I decided to live it.”

                   7. Celebrate Your Wins

When you have done something well, don’t be afraid to admit that you have succeeded and let yourself feel good about it. It’s so easy to say ” Anyone could have done it, I just got lucky.” Stop downplaying your successes and learn to accept compliments.

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

“I know you have big dreams for yourself, but don’t forget to appreciate how far you’ve come already. Remember the days you prayed for the things you have now.”

             8. Cut Out Negative Self Talk

Everyone has an inner critic that judges, belittles, and tells you, “you aren’t enough”.  Shut down that negative voice inside your head., it is doing you any good. Negative self talk is never in your interest, even if its true. step away from it, talk back to it and replace it with positivity.

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what other people think of you.”

“Be careful how you talk to yourself, because you are listening.”


9. Understand The Difference Between Confidence And Arrogance

Make sure you know the difference between Confidence and arrogance, there is a fine line. Don’t be rude and develop a sense of entitlement. You need a good balance between accurate self knowledge and respect for who you are.

Definition of Arrogance:

An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner.

Definition of Confidence:

The feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on a person or thing.

“Arrogance requires advertising, Confidence speaks for itself.”

10. Feed Your Self Esteem and Cheer Yourself On

Definition of Self Esteem: Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities.; self respect

Set yourself goals in your life and do things that help you feel accomplished. Tell yourself you are capable and turn your dreams into goals. Identify what you are good at and do those things. Show your strengths in what you do.

Realize you are the only one who can be you, others can try to influence your life but you are the only one who can live it, own it.

Be yourself and love yourself and think positive.











If I would Still Be Amish

Yesterday was an interesting day at our place.

When I was a teenager I worked at a Bakery about an hour from here and some of my coworkers were Amish Girls. Yesterday I had most of them over to our place for the afternoon. They filled up this tiny home with 9 children, and themselves. My sister Rebecca was also here with her two little girls so my home was more then overflowing…

There were two other tiny babies like mine so some of the conversation was on having babies and raising our children. We also talked about our bakery days and we talked about the different directions our lives have gone since.

Every time I get together with these ladies I can’t help but wonder what my life would be like if I were Amish.

When I was 7 years old, my parents made a decision that forever changed the course of my life… You see, We used to be Amish. Our first language was Dutch. But my parents chose to leave the Amish church. I wonder sometimes if this is why I get along with this group of ladies so well. I must still have that Amish blood in me somewhere.

I am thankful everyday that my parents made the decision they did because I really don’t think I was cut out for that kind of life.

I remember having church at my parents house on backless benches and listening to the preacher talk in German. I remember sitting with dad on the men’s side of church and an older man used to hand out candy to us kids after church. I remember eating Amish peanut Butter and Egg salad on Homemade Bread for Sunday lunch. The men always ate first and then the women. I remember riding in a  horse and Buggy and the couple times our horse got a mind of its own and really took us for a ride. I remember the days before our relatives shunned our family, when my mom’s sisters would come visit and we’d go on bike rides together. When one of her sisters lived just down the road from us and we visited them often.

What would it have been like to go to an Amish school and have Amish friends. To marry an Amish man and have little Amish children. The idea of a life like this seems far out absurd these days and it blows my mind that it could have been mine.

It makes me sad that my dad’s parents died before they accepted him back into their lives and my mom’s parents still choose to live life without us in it. Some of their siblings ignore the shunning rule and we still see them every now and then but the rest choose to avoid us. It doesn’t matter that we are still following Jesus, all that matters to them is that it isn’t being done their way, it is unacceptable to them.

I am very glad that the group of ladies that visited me yesterday do not have to hold to this rule and I can get a glimpse, every now and then, at what my life could have been like. I am counting my blessings on this one. I thoroughly enjoyed their company and was sad the afternoon came to an end.

Going down memory lane is fun and imagining a different life is fun but I love the life I have. My amazing NOT Amish, christian husband and my cute NOT Amish little boys.



If I Would Still Be Amish...

Mommy Weight Issues

Have you ever struggled with your body size, big or small, flat or curvy, … If you are older then 10 years old chances are you have… You for sure have if you are anything like me… Ever since I was 12 years old I’ve been on one kind of diet or another…

I was always slightly larger then other girls my age, taller, bigger built, and when I was a teenager I saw myself as fat ( now I laugh at myself when I look back)…  I rarely shared my weight because it was always 20 to 30 pounds higher then the other girls’.

When I got married I had a 27 inch waist and I saw myself as fat… if that doesn’t explain how messed up I was in that department I don’t know what will… what I would give to have a waist that small now!

After I got married… you know how you have this mistaken idea that life will be perfect after marriage, well I did… somewhat without realizing it… after I got married I thought my worries were gone, no more weight worries LOL … I gained 10 pounds the first three months of our marriage and 2 months in, Hello Baby, I was pregnant.

9 months later, Baby #1 arrived… a healthy baby boy… we were thrilled! Unfortunately with it came a 20 pound weight gain… so now we are at 30 pounds over  my wedding day weight… yikes, I was scared… I had never had that much weight to lose before…

SO, Conner was 2 months old, 30 pounds up and Hello Baby, pregnant again…

9 months later, Baby #2 arrived… once again, a healthy baby boy, once again we were thrilled… and once again, a 20 pound weight gain… how was I supposed to lose 50 pounds plus take care of an 11 month old and a newborn…

Right away I was too busy trying to survive 2 babies and keep them alive and well… Dylan (baby#2) was a wild little thing with colic issues and Conner was still crawling everywhere and getting into everything… my hands were more then full so my horror every time I looked in the mirror just had to wait…

2 months in I had had enough… I wasn’t able to let it go, to be okay with being that size… I had no energy, everything was twice the job it should be and I was ready to feel good again…

But, I had never before had 50 pounds to lose… I had always gone up and down between 10 pounds… I had gotten good at maintaining my weight before I was married… this was an entirely different thing… I felt like it wasn’t enough just to do what I had done before…

So, I signed up for a program called Weight Watchers… I found a Weight Watchers meeting in our town and went that next Tuesday evening… After a couple meetings I was having great success so I said something about it to my mother-in-law who was also looking for a weight loss solution… she started going to the meetings with me…

I had someone to go with every week now and I was on a roll… before I knew it I was 20 pounds down and still going… It’s all kind of a blur in my mind because there was a lot going on at the time, with a baby and a 1 year old to take care of…

After 20 pounds down, my weight loss slowed to a crawl… It took till Dylan’s first birthday for me to reach 33 pounds lost… unfortunately that was as good as it got… I lost my determined mindset, I was feeling comfortable with myself again and it all came to a giant halt… and then started going the other direction…

I crawled my way to a 20 pound weight gain, my mind was no longer letting me lose weight with the Weight Watchers program so I gave it up… I was determined enough I managed to get 10 pounds back off again on my own leaving me at 30 pounds above my wedding day weight…

Dylan was 2 years old now, Conner was 2 almost 3 years old and my husband and I, crazy as it may seem, wanted another baby…

oh Baby, Pregnant again…

9 months later, Baby #3 arrived… Another healthy baby boy… I am well outnumbered… a house full of boys…  we are thrilled, the older boys too…

But of course, another 20 pound weight gain… back at square one… 50 pounds to lose and I’m feeling like a complete failure…

It messes with my mind, it messes with my will to live a happy, healthy life, it messes with my self worth… and each time seems harder then the last…

This brings us to now… how am I going to lose it this time… it looks like it’s going to take something extreme again… so, here’s the plan…

The Keto Diet, and accountability videos… 35 pounds in 4 months ( see the first video to find out how I came up with these numbers)…  my first goal…

My ultimate goal is 50 pounds down, my wedding day weight…

So, if you are interested in following this weight loss journey, here are my first two videos… subscribe to my Youtube channel thisboymomadventure to see weekly updates…


Failure is okay, it makes you stronger, but giving up is not an option…

Mommy Weight Issues








DIY Cupcakes with kids

Last week I had a friend ask me to make some cupcakes for her upcoming graduation. Her graduation was a Friday evening so I had that morning and afternoon to get 75 cupcakes made and iced. I was looking forward to it and made sure I had everything ready to go for Friday morning.20180518_184700.jpg

I took this chance to video how it goes for a mom of three to do anything time consuming. Basically, you zone out when it starts getting rough, shut out the noise and keep going. My husband is always wondering how I can shut out the boys constant questions, I catch myself doing it without realizing. I guess it becomes somewhat of a habit. Something I need to work on.

Anyway, I started around 8 30 or so that morning while Greyson ( the baby) was still sleeping.

The idea of being in a video like this is a little scary, I’m definitely not used to it. I hope you enjoy.

Mommy Self Care

Self-Care Because You Need It

Realizing that, in order to be the best mom I can be, I need to take care of myself. Push away the guilt and realize that my health is important too.

*3 Tips for Good Mental Health*

1. Take that Bath.

SO yes showers are faster and more convenient. When everyone in the house needs mom and it all falls apart if you leave for more then 5 minutes. But, sometimes we just need some time to ourselves to recharge. Get your husband to agree to 30 minutes of watching the children while you unwind. 30 minutes a couple times a week is not too much to ask. If that doesn’t work then maybe it’ll work after everyone else is in bed for the night. Buy that extra bath bomb or epsom salt or whatever it is that makes that bath relaxing. Recover from your day of keeping children alive.

2. Spend Time with other Moms.

Find time to go out some evenings with other moms your age. Leave the children with a babysitter or your husband and go shopping, watch a movie, eat at a sit down restaurant, or just grab a quick coffee if you don’t have much time. Find things to do together and just be young and carefree again, if only for 1 evening. And,  don’t spend the whole evening talking about your kids.

3. Find a Hobby

This should be something that you can do during the day when you are in the middle of taking care of your children… when your brain just needs a break.  Mine is gardening at the moment. I love flower gardening the best. Flowers are just starting to come alive. I take all my children with me outside. The older ones can play in the sandbox or TRY to help me with whatever I’m working on. The baby can be in the stroller. This year my baby is young enough he still mostly sleeps the day away, so he is content while I’m busy ( for the most part). My brain definitely functions better on the days I’m outside with my flowers.

*3 Tips for Good Physical Health*

1. Eat Healthy Food

I failed this one big time right after I had my baby. He is now 6 weeks old and I am finally feeling in control again when it comes to what I eat. My weight was going up instead of down. I was sitting all day and eating junk food. I craved sugar filled things and lots of it and it was not only affecting my physical health but also by mental health. I kept telling myself I can’t control it anymore, I’m a failure. After much failing at turning it around in a single day I told myself to just be okay with cutting one bad thing out of my diet every day until its good. I’m finally to that point. And WOW do I feel a lot better.

2. Exercise

Walk or clean your house or find an exercise program that works for you and get moving.  As of right now, I’m walking/Jogging 5 days a week for 20 min. each day. The first day I did this after I had my baby I felt amazing. I could feel the sluggishness melting away. Now if I can just keep the memory of that in my head and keep this up.

3. Sleep

Getting enough rest will give you the energy you need to break up that fight for the 20th time or crawl into your sons pillow and blanket house and make his day.  Get to bed right after your nighttime bath. Don’t stay up and read that book or watch that movie. I almost always fall apart the next day when I try to get my me time in at night. Unless you are one of those lucky parents whose kids go to bed at 8 o’ clock.

All of these tips are just some of the things I aim for. Taking care of yourself is important if you want to be the best mom you can be. Remember, if mommy isn’t happy, no one is happy !!!

Mommy Self Care










Baby Delivery – Home Birth vs. Hospital Birth

   Childbirth can look scary and overwhelming to any mom to be, whether you have had a baby before or not. Chances are if you are reading this you are pregnant and wanting to know,  “where is the best place to have your Baby delivery?” I had a Home Birth with a midwife for my first two babies and a Hospital Birth with a midwife for my third baby. So, if you are looking for someone’s personal experience with both options you have come to the right place.

Home Birth

Hospital Birth


                Home Birth

The Definition of a Home Birth: an instance of giving birth at Home rather than in a Hospital.

     For my first two babies, we didn’t have insurance and we couldn’t afford going to the hospital for the baby delivery so we decided to try a home birth. We had a hard time finding a midwife for a at home birth in our area, apparently they are few and far between. We finally did find one about an hour from our home. This midwife was available over my due date so we decided we will go ahead and plan a home birth with her

  *Home Birth – Pregnancy Checkup*

                 -scheduling and Location

I met with the midwife the next week at her home. She had a cute little office off of the main part of the house. I felt very welcome in her home and it felt nothing like a stuffy doctor’s office. I felt like I was just visiting a friend for the evening.  I worked in the town where the Midwife lived and she was very willing to schedule my check ups around my work hours. I never had to take off work for the visits.


    *Home Birth – Paperwork*

                            – Cost and Decisions  

   The Midwife walked me through all the paperwork involved and was very up front about what everything would cost. She did not accept insurance which was not a problem for us because we didn’t have any. The cost of everything she did for us from start to finish was $2000 which was due by my 35 week check up. I’m sure cost varies with different midwives but this was her price for us. Far more affordable than a Hospital Birth without Insurance.

There were some things about the baby delivery we had the option to accept or decline and the Midwife had all the right paperwork to sign off on if we weren’t interested. She never came across pushy if there was something I chose to skip if I saw it as unnecessary. She was required to tell me what everything was for and why it is done but it was my choice to accept or decline.

     *Home Birth – Birth Plan*

The Midwife helped me decide what all I wanted included in my birth plan. She had no requirements for birth positions nor was she picky about eating while I was in labor. When I asked about a water birth she said it is just fine if that’s the way I  want to go. She basically left it up to me and what would make me most comfortable.

    *Home Birth – Blood Tests*  

   The Midwife showed me how and where to schedule my blood tests. It all seemed very simple with her there to guide me. She even went in with me to the office where they did it. The blood tests were not included in the price she gave us so you can expect to pay for the that on top of her total, I’m guessing most midwives would do it this way.

            *Home Birth – Ultrasound*

One thing that a Home Birth Midwife does not include is an ultrasound. We wanted to know the gender of our babies. And of course, we wanted to make sure they have the right number of fingers and toes, in other words, we wanted to make sure they were healthy. There are some Ultrasound Centers where they do ultrasounds to find out the babies’ gender, but they don’t take all the babies’ measurements like they would at a pregnancy center. This Ultrasound cost around $300.

       *Home Birth – 35 Weeks Pregnant*

               – Home Visits and Birth Supplies

   When I reached 35 weeks in my pregnancy she started coming out to our home for weekly checkups to get a feel for where we live and what she would need to do to prepare. Right around this time is when she showed me a website where I could order birth supplies so we could get that in the mail before it was time for the Baby Delivery. The birth supplies cost around $50.

*Home Birth – The Midwife’s Assistant*

Also around 35 weeks she introduced me to her assistant that she brought along to all her Baby Deliveries. The assistant came along for a couple of Home visits before my baby was born so I could meet her and get used to her as well. She was so friendly and made me feel even more at ease with the idea of two professionals to help with the birth.

    *Home Birth – Pain Relief*

A Home birth Midwife does not have access to pain relief medications like the hospitals have. My midwife recommended laboring in the tub to help relieve some of the pain and my husband massaged my lower back when it got bad. I also tried moving around and changing my positions, but I had to do it all natural, medication free. If you want pain relief options then this isn’t for you.


      *Home Birth – The Baby Delivery*

I had my first baby delivery four days early. My labor started at 3 o’clock in the morning and we called the midwife around 7 o’clock, four hours later. She asked how it was going, how far apart my contractions were, and she told us she is preparing to start the hour drive to our home. She arrived about two hours later around 9 o’ clock. I labored on into the afternoon while my husband, the Midwife and her assistant brought me things like a cool cloth for my forehead and when I chose to labor in the tub they kept the water hot by boiling water on the stove and pouring it slowly into my bath water.

Not far into the afternoon I was to the point of pushing, he was almost here and we ran into a slight problem. The baby was stuck and stuck good. No matter how I pushed I could not budge him and my contractions were stopping. It was as if my body was giving up, like the job was done. This was my Midwife‘s first time performing an epesiotomy but she did what she had to do.  Let me tell you, the relief and joy and overwhelming emotions when your baby is born is real, there is nothing else like it.

My second Baby Delivery was uneventful and short. Dylan was born 3.5 hours after my labor started, about an hour after the Midwife arrived. I ended up having a water birth and that went very well. The first thing I said when he was born was, “that was easy!” I think because my first birth was so long and difficult I was surprised at the speed of the second birth.

     *Home Birth – Postpartum*

After we had our babies it was so nice to be in the comfort of our own home that first night. The midwife went home and there were no Nurses constantly interrupting my sleep at night. My mom stayed with us the first little while till we adjusted to our new little person. The midwife came out a few times in the next week to check that the baby and I were doing well. She also did a 6 weeks postpartum checkup on both the baby and me so I did not need to get a pediatrician for the baby until after that.

All in all we felt like our Home birth experience was great and we would probably have done the same for our third if we could have gotten insurance for it.


             Hospital Birth

The definition of a Hospital Birth: an instance of giving birth at a Hospital rather than at home.

   *Hospital Birth – Insurance*

For our third baby we were finally able to get Medicaid Insurance so we decided to try the hospital birth and see what that is like. Our Insurance covered all of the pregnancy checkups and the whole hospital stay otherwise a hospital birth would have cost too much for us.

*Hospital Birth – Pregnancy Checkups*

    I found a Pregnancy Center that has midwives instead of Doctors. I had heard that they encourage doing things as natural as possible and that was more the way I wanted to go. I am scared of all things unnatural so medications and an IV in my arm were things I was trying to avoid. I had an hour drive to the Pregnancy Center for my checkups and I had to find a babysitter for my older two boys every time I went in.

  *Hospital Birth – Blood Tests and Ultrasounds*

   I loved it that the blood tests and the ultrasound were all taken care of there at the Pregnancy center. Everything was organized and simple and all I had to do was show up. The Ultrasound lady took measurements and checked for anything abnormal. They assured us that everything looks good. She told us we were having another healthy boy and we did not have to get another ultrasound for the rest of the pregnancy. They took my blood there at the center to test it and that all came back normal too.

    *Hospital Birth – 35 Weeks Pregnant*

    Once I reached 35 weeks pregnant I had to start going in for a checkup every week and that got to be a little much. Having to get a babysitter every week for just a short checkup was a little overwhelming, although it was comforting seeing that everything was fine when I went in. I was just used to having the midwife come to my home when I was this miserably far along.

      *Hospital Birth – Birth Plan*

   I put together a birth plan at one of my checkups but when I went in to have the baby the ladies that were helping me for the first couple hours had not seen it and were not following it. I had asked for no students to be in my room during my labor and they had one there, she was even the one who put the IV in my arm. But they did apologize for it once they got around to reading my birth plan and I tried not to let it bother me.

I had also asked that I not be given pitosin at any point during or after the labor. Right after the baby was born one nurse came across like I was bleeding too much, So of course I said yes give me pitosin to stop the bleeding. After she left the room I asked one of the other nurses if my bleeding was normal and she said yes its fine. THAT irritated me but there was nothing I could do about it so I let it go. Basically, my point is, with a hospital birth it is very hard to pull off a completely natural birth. But, if you like the medication way of doing things then that is what you are looking for.


    *Hospital Birth – The Baby Delivery*

I once again went into labor in the middle of the night for my third baby, it all started with my water breaking while I was sleeping. I had tested positive for Group B Strep ( a bacteria I was apparently a carrier of) so they asked me to come in to the hospital right away so they could give me antibiotics while I was in labor to hopefully keep the baby from getting the bacteria.So much for not wanting an IV in my arm.

The trip there wasn’t too bad because my labor wasn’t too intense yet at that point.

Once we got there it was question after question after question, I just wanted to be left alone. How can they possibly need all that information and why right then. I wondered why they don’t ask all those questions after the baby was born. What I didn’t know was I was going to get interrupted by nurses and doctors often the entire duration of my stay.

    I was happy with how they let me move around in the room and they even said I’m welcome to wander the halls if I felt like it. They did not allow a water birth but they did let me take a bath to help relieve the pain.

    The midwife and the nurses were really good at coaching me through the pushing process. Every thing went well and we were soon holding our new little person. I had the baby around 12:30 pm that day.

     *Hospital Birth – Busy Midwife*

   I kept feeling like the midwife had no time for me during the labor. I kept asking for her and she wouldn’t come in. They told me later that 11 other women had come in that morning to give birth. I really was missing the one on one I had gotten with my midwife during my home births. But I did have help from the nurses so I was not  being completely neglected.

   *Hospital Birth – Emergency Backup*

I did not get any medication for the pain during birth but it was nice knowing I had that option. Also, knowing they had what they needed there if something went wrong was comforting. With our home births we did not have the things available to quickly help if something went wrong. We would have had an emergency trip to the hospital.

    *Hospital Birth – Postpartum Care*

After we went home I ended up going back to the hospital three times that first week because the baby’s jaundice level was high and they wanted to watch it. I also had to go in to see his pediatrician twice that week, once to set him up as a patient and the second time for a weight check. Not being able to stay at home and rest was overwhelming. Ended up, 5 visits later, he was perfectly fine and I was exhausted from an hour trip to Lynchburg every day his first week. I really wonder how they expect the moms to recover properly with all the unnecessary ( in my opinion) appointments for baby.

So, having experienced both a home birth and a hospital birth its hard to say which one is the better option. I would definitely prefer a home birth. My baby’s deliveries have always gone well, natural with no complications. If it wasn’t so I would probably choose a hospital birth, because they are better prepared if things go wrong.

Baby delivery - Home Birth vs Hospital Birth

Baby Boy # Three

The big day has come and gone. It is Saturday afternoon and we have been enjoying our baby for almost a week now.

Greyson Seth was born on Monday, March 19th at 12:39 pm.  He weighed 8 lbs 5 oz and he was 20.5″ long.  GreysonSeth3

No amount of trying this and trying that actually made me go into labor, that I know of. Walking may have made it happen earlier but I have no proof. I tried castor oil twice with no results other then miserable amounts of time in the restroom.

It was almost 3 o’ clock early Monday morning, one day from my due date, I had been waking up off and on feeling very warm and crampy. My Water broke without me having to get up.  After this happened I wasn’t completely convinced until it kept happening randomly a little at a time, I was making sure it was the real deal before I did anything. I woke Seth up and told him what was going on and I called mom to see what she thought I should do. She suggested just going back to sleep until something more started happening. Of course I was so wide awake at this point there was no hope of sleeping again. I decided to call the birthing center at the hospital and see what they thought I should do. We live an hour away from the hospital and I had tested positive for Group B Strep so they wanted me to come in right away. I called mom back, she had to drive over to my sister Becky’s house to get my sister Amy so she could stay at our place with the boys while we were gone. I told her it was no big hurry but to go ahead and start heading that way.

It was about an hour after my water broke that I started getting the first contractions. Mom had just gotten to my sister’s place when I called to let her know.  When they got to our place it was around 4 o’ clock and my contractions were steady but apparently still very painless, I didn’t think so at the time but compared to later they were a piece of cake.

It was nice driving to the hospital in the middle of the night. The roads were clear and we didn’t have to wait at very many traffic lights or anything. It was also nice being at the very beginning of labor while driving there. I had been picturing terrible unbearable pain in an uncomfortable vehicle in the middle of the day with lots of traffic.

When we got there they monitored me and the baby for about an hour before they admitted me. So it was probably after 6 in the morning before I was admitted.

And then the hours started dragging by. I had my last baby in about 3 hours so this was agony waiting and nothing seemed to be going faster. At about 9 o’ clock the midwife came in and asked me if I wanted to try some medication to speed things along. At that point I was almost mad that it was taking so long so I was ready for anything to make it happen. I asked her questions about Pitocin and she explained what it does and the possible risks. I hate anything unnatural so we decided to wait till lunch and try something then if things were still not moving along. Unnatural things, like the IV they put in my hand. I was dreading that almost more then the actual labor.

I was watching the clock, so I have times very well in my head. It was soon after 10 o’clock things started picking up. Up to this point I was still smiling and laughing between contractions and Seth was making phone calls and pacing back and forth. And he loved making jokes just before a contraction. It HURTS ,by the way, to laugh during a contraction. At the time, I was not impressed.

When contractions started picking up I finally started thinking about medications for pain, but I had in my birth plan for no one to ask me if I want anything so I was never asked and I just kept telling myself it would be over soon.

By 11:30 I was in tears half from the pain and half from feeling exhausted. I had been asking for the midwife probably about an hour before she finally came in and checked to see how far along I was. She had bad news, or so I thought. I was only dilated 8 to 9 cm and the baby was at 0 station. She asked me if I wanted to get in the tub, she was assuming it would still be awhile. I told her yes, so they started the water for a bath. I was sitting on the bed and decided to switch to the birthing ball while I wait for the tub. I guess the switch made something happen because I wasn’t going anywhere after that.

They got everything ready for the birth right there. Seth was behind me holding me up. He probably had almost as painful an experience or he likes to joke that he did. I was pushing on him with everything I had during contractions  and he said he had to sneeze and his nose was running from allergies ( fine time to forget your allergy medicine).

I think I was loud enough for every one on the floor to hear me. Seth said the midwife looked like she was tempted to cover my mouth with her hand to quiet me down. They moved me to a thing they called the birthing chair, it was very low to the floor and still had no back so Seth still had to support me.  That is where I was when Greyson was born at 12:39 pm. I had forgotten and already have forgotten again just how horribly painful it is. They handed him to me, I couldn’t believe it was over. Its hard to explain how hopeless it feels to get to ,It’s Over, He’s Here! and how amazing it feels to finally hold him in my arms.

A very healthy baby boy.

We were very excited to get our other two boys in to see their reactions to their baby brother, but we were not so lucky. Apparently because flu season was so bad this year no one under 18 years old was allowed in our room. They didn’t get to see their new little brother till we got home.

This week has been a whirlwind of baby appointments and taking care of our new little person. Its amazing how time can crawl by so slowly before the baby is born and then afterward you about don’t have time to catch your breath. We are enjoying having a baby in the house again.


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Baby Boy #Three




Waiting For Labor

39 Weeks Pregnant. Have you ever gone through something in your life where you are so obsessed with it its hard to focus on anything else? This is my current situation. Every waking minute revolves around when this baby finally decides to make his appearance.  My husband asks ” what are you thinking about?” The baby! “What did you do today?” Something to prepare for the baby! “What are you writing about?” The baby!

How do I get my mind off of this so I can keep my sanity this last week of waiting?

Maybe if I try hard enough he will come early and I won’t have to wait anymore. I’ve been walking and walking and walking some more. I have been taking a handful of pills everyday.  In the morning, my prenatal vitamin, 2 red raspberry leaf capsules, two 5w capsules, 2 evening primrose oil pills… At lunch, two more red raspberry leaf capsules, two more 5w capsules… in the evening two more red raspberry leaf capsules, two more 5w capsules, and two more evening primrose oil pills. I’ve been breaking the internet with searches about how to induce labor naturally and trying everything I can think of.  I can’t decide if walking is helping or harming the process. Apparently not being relaxed can hinder going into labor. I’m taking warm baths to try to help myself relax.

My house has never been so organized. I’m imagining going to the hospital and my boys don’t have clean clothes to make it through till I get back, or maybe there will be a giant pile of dishes when we leave and some other poor soul will have to wash them. My youngest, Dylan, has started saying “you didn’t wash dishes yet mommy!” Apparently that’s all I do these days. The toys don’t stay out for long and the floors are constantly being swept and vacuumed. To be completely honest, its probably mostly boredom and impatience that’s the reason for this.

I have never looked so forward to something that is so painful as having a baby. During this pregnancy, before this point I would cringe at the thought of labor, now I’m excited about every cramp or braxton hicks contraction I feel. Only to be disappointed so far. If my other two boys finally were born surely this one will be too. I’m starting to wonder if I will just always be pregnant. I want the pain to be over and the baby to be here.

My patience level is at an all time low but it will eventually happen. Fingers crossed everything goes well and baby is healthy.Waiting For Labor


Baby Shower Fun


I am now considered full term… 2 and 1/2 weeks left till  baby is due to arrive… The nervous energy is getting worse… I keep getting flashbacks of what labor was like with the other two… Braxton Hicks are a normal thing these days… My hospital bags are almost ready…

And… some very sweet friends thoroughly spoiled me and planned a baby shower for our little baby… Rebecca, Melissa, and Kim, yall are amazing!20180302_142845

It was last evening. It was fun catching up with people I hadn’t seen in a while and socializing, something I probably won’t get to do as much after baby is born. Three children will be a whole new world…

And the fun of opening gifts… I had my youngest, Dylan, with me and he was right there helping the whole time… I think he was enjoying himself as much as I was… I feel so undeserving and am amazed at how generous people are… this baby will be lacking nothing…IMG_20180302_121701_592 (1)

One of the ladies even thought to include a gift for Conner and Dylan… The first thing they did this morning was get their new trucks out and start playing with them. They were so busy playing I almost had to force feed them their breakfast…


I spent my morning going through the gifts and finding a spot for everything. I don’t know if you enjoy that kind of thing but I sure do. The excitement is mounting…20180301_224325

We are ready for you to arrive baby #3


Pregnant Mom, Nesting Instinct

I am finally getting close to the end of this pregnancy. There are still three and a half weeks till my due date and I’m starting to feel like I need to get everything in order. For some reason with this baby the so called “nesting instinct” just didn’t quite kick in like it did with the other two. I have been preparing for the baby as far as buying things I need and setting up a space for him, but when it came to cleaning and organizing my house I just wasn’t finding the motivation for it.

Some time last week my mother in law asked me if I’d be interested in some help with cleaning before the baby arrives. I feel so bad bothering people because I know everyone has so many of their own things they want to get done. But she insisted she and my sisters in law could at least come and wash my windows. For some reason the idea of people coming over to help jump started a cleaning frenzy. Okay maybe that was a stretch, maybe, it just motivated me to clean the house before they come to wash windows.

This past Monday I started with cleaning and organizing our master closet. I have entirely too many clothes and they never stay organized for long so this was an all morning job. I packed away the clothes Seth and I never wear and organized the ones we do. Now if I can just keep it that way till baby arrives.

On Wednesday I had an a pregnancy checkup appointment so I got my sister Amy to watch my two boys at my place while I went in. I got to thinking how much faster all my cleaning and organizing  would go if I would get Amy to help me knock it out when I get home. So when I got back I asked her if she would be willing to help me. She said she would probably have to work at home anyway so she might as well stay here. So I sat down and wrote out a list for me and a list for her. It took a couple hours but we managed to knock out everything but a little dusting and washing the windows. Some how when I’m not cleaning alone it doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming.

Then yesterday my mother in law and some of my sisters in law got together for a sisters day and  cleaned my windows and did some dusting. I am so thankful she had this idea, otherwise I probably would not have even started any kind of cleaning yet.

It’s amazing what can be accomplished with a little bit of help. Now if I can just keep everything in order until baby comes so I don’t have to redo too many things. A tall order with two little boys in the house.Pregnant Mom, Nesting Instinct